There is always a hidden story behind the girl who always wears jeans even when the day is extremely hot. The boy who is always in a jumper despite the weather outside. The friend who is always wearing long sleeved clothes and would not dare wear a short sleeve shirt or anything. Or what about that girl who was obsessed with crop tops and showing of her perfect tummy then out of nowhere stopped wearing them completely. Or that friend that doesn’t what to go swimming anymore or expose a specific part of their body. Ever asked yourself why?
Well maybe they just love what they wear or what they do but maybe there is a secret that they are trying so hard to hide. It is not something you always want the world to know. Its your own personal secret and escape. It is the way you try and push away the demons. When they rise up to the surface the only way you know best to take them back to their place is self-harm. When the night gets too intense and you feel like you can’t take the pain anymore you do it. In your mind it is the only way to get away from the pain.
Self-harm? Good question.
It can be explained in many ways and also understood in many ways. For a person who actually self-harms they can not seat down and explain what it is or why they do it. From another person’s perspective they won’t understands why someone would harm themselves. Why a person would go to the lengths of drawing blood from their body “just because they’re in pain”. Everyone feels pain, everyone goes through hard times why do you have to harm yourself using the reason “pain”. Well, self-harm is the act of someone either cutting themselves, hitting themselves or starving themselves for the sake of finding an escape. It is the point of torture and pain that they can’t handle it mentally and tend to feel that physical pain is much better.
So, when someone thinks “why would you harm yourself just because of pain” ask yourself what kind of pain someone must be feeling to feel the need to harm themselves. It’s not like they scratch the surface of their skin, most self-harmers cut through their skin to the point that they would need stitches and will leave behind a much visible scar. With most self harmers, it’s always a secret that even the stitches they need, the do it themselves or just let it heal with no stitches. Now why would someone cause themselves such pain for no reason or for the most used phrase “attention”. The pain hidden within is one which is hardly understood by someone who hasn’t been through it before. The person who is going through a mental struggle can as well find it hard to explain.
The mind is a mysterious organ. It can bring someone so much pain and there is no way to shut it down. The thoughts will run through your mind no matter how hard you try to block them away. Everyone always has some means of escape. Self-harming of any kind is a way of numbing the pain.
“If I cause myself physical pain maybe I can make the mental pain go away”.
It might feel like the only sort of remedy for the pain but harming yourself is never the answer. Sometimes the urge to pick up the blade or to punch a wall might be so strong that you can’t stop yourself. Often the pain can get you to the breaking point and it’s understandable to want to escape from it, make the pain go away. To self-harmers, when they have a mental breakdown, the mind (yet again the organ that helps you think) will tell you that the only way to make yourself feel better is to physically harm yourself. Some might battle with the urge, a very hard battle, and win but most fail. With the failure come for disappointment within one’s self. Feeling like I would stop myself but I was to weak to stop it.
No, you are not a failure. You simply doing the best you can to heal. Some days you succeed and other days you have a small setback, a tiny scar to remind you of how strong you can be. The scars tell your story of ho you fought and won. You could have succumbed to the pressures of the mind an ended your life all together (tragic) but yet here you are still fighting a good fight. Your scars are your strength. Yes, they are “disgusting” or “shameful” but look at it from this view. You were in a dark place and did what you had to do to survive. Never feel ashamed to have scars either on your arm, stomach or thighs. Anyone who finds them disgusting then they shouldn’t even be in your life. Those marks are yours to have proudly, to remind you of where you don’t want to go back to.
Don’t do it! It might seem like you need to but don’t! if the urge is too strong just draw with a marker where you want to harm yourself. Keep away from any sharp objects to avoid temptation and any time you feel like you want to harm yourself talk to a friend you trust. Keep yourself occupied! Stay busy! Avoid triggers! Avoid stress! You will heal and be better than before. You are strong and you are this blog’s unicorn warrior!
Stay Safe, Stay Happy