SORT OF UNREQUITED LOVE

Love has to be one of the best feelings and can also do the most damage to a person. With love comes affection, safety, happiness, peace and care. Love carries with it all sorts of emotions which can either make ones life better or worse. Well, everybody wants to feel loved and to love others.

Of course there are different types of love; sibling love, friendly love, partners love. Should I maybe refer to it as “love love”. That type of love you feel for someone that goes beyond affection, friendship, lust….The love that makes you feel alive every wakening moment. The love that makes you smile like an idiot in the middle of the way while your staring into thin air. The love that makes you do stupid things for a particular person because you consider them you’re everything. The love that makes a singular person your entire universe. You wake up in the morning, they’re you first thought. It’s not the person you thing about at 1am while your in bed preferably crawled up in your bed with nothing to do but the person who crosses your mind at 2pm while your extremely busy. Then you find yourself smiling while a memory of them crosses your mind.

The person who makes you feel like your appreciates; that you are enough. The love that consumes you and you’ll do anything to protect “your person”. The love that leaves you wondering “what did I ever do to deserve this person”. It’s not the love that makes you feel worthless; that you have to try so hard to gain someone attention. That love. Isn’t just a delight when that sort of love is mutual. That two people find each other, they are meant for each and they feel the same towards each other. Efforts are met equally, the strive to be together is there between the both of them. Ain’t that just beautiful? Love is beautiful.

But then love is damaging and hurtful at the most. The sort of unrequited love can bring you hurt beyond imagination. It will leave you with an aching heart when you wake up in the morning and go back to bed in the evening. Have you fighting tears in the middle of the day while you try to put on a happy face. Unrequited love is sort of heart break that seems like it takes ages to heal. You meet someone, they became the center of your life. You want to talk to them every single day, spend every free minute with them. Know about their life, care about their wellbeing, find peace within their presence. Their smile brings so much joy to your life. Their happiness fuels your peace of mind. The thought of them brings a smile to your face; a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. Even the slightest thought of being with them brings you some sort of immense pleasure.

Having your heart long for someone who can never be yours can keep your mind on an endless journey of trying to get over them. But how do you even start getting over someone who was never yours to begin with? Having to put on a smile, act like your totally fine while deep down your heart is in pieces. At most instances of unrequited love is usually with someone who are close with. You can’t just meet a stranger and finally realize,

“Oh yeah, I love this human and now I feel awful cause he/she doesn’t love me back”

It’s a build up of emotions towards let’s say a close friend who you’ve known for a while. Then it dawns on you one day that all those emotions you feel towards them is actually “love”. It hits you out of nowhere that you might actually be in love with them. It hits hardest when it’s a close friend that you talk to all the time and meet regularly. Unrequited love from a stranger that you just meet might hurt but of some sort of rejection level. Compared to someone you talk and see and suddenly realize you love but can make anything out of it might actually hurt like a bitch! Then you start figuring out how your going to suppress those emotions and how you’re going to hide it from them. It always olympics trying to put a mask for however how long, the mask always falls off!

When you’re content with seeing them happy even though it’s not with you, that’s what people might call love. Unrequited love. Just to see them smile even though you’re not the reason, it might hurt, but it’s something someone is willing to go through. In instances where you love your friend, be it a best friend or just someone your close with, hiding the feelings might be to protect the friendship. Some friendship are always much worth the hurt that comes with unrequited love. Being able to go through a certain pain because you are not willing to loose someone. Deep down you know how you feel and know very well they will never know how much you love them. You catch yourself just smiling while looking at them, thinking about how you love them while they sit there clueless most times with their significant other then the smile instantly turns into a small from before you cover it up with a smile, unrequited love.

Does it fade?

It might fade with time. Isn’t time the healer of all wounds? Some last months, others years. It all depends on the intensity of the feelings. Some people will try to get over the feelings at whatever cost. They get drunk, kiss the wrong person, end going home with a total stranger, wake up in an unfamiliar location and pretend to be okay with an attempt to suppress whatever feelings they have. It can take time especially if you’re in constant communication and closeness. You might think you’re over them one day then you see them and the feelings come rushing back all over again. It’s always back square one every time.

Then there is the hope, the hope that trickles in your mind every now and then.

“You know maybe she’ll look at me the way I look at her.”

“Maybe he will finally start to like me.”

“You know she might end up just….”

It’s hard to wait around for something that you are sure will never happen; but it is also harder to let go of something that you it’s everything you want. Yes, you will break but will heal!

Dealing with unrequited love shall come in another blog, watch out for that!!!!!!

Stay strong, stay happy 💋

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