UNREQUITED #2

“Te amo pero nunca la sabras”

You know the feeling when you really want to be with someone and ripping you apart to not be with them? That pain that is just never going because you know how much you love that person. When you know your happiness lies with someone else. A person who you know deep down in your heart will never feel the same about you. Not in this life or another life.

It is hard to love someone who sees you as nothing like a friend or worse as nothing. Of course, it is a horrible feeling and it crushes you heart. It makes you feel worthless, like you are not enough for that person. All that love you hold inside for someone else is worth it. You are worth it and you are enough. They just don’t see your worth and that’s fine. They don’t see your value and that’s totally okay. No one in this world owes you anything and you should let that sink in. Because it’s true! Everyone in this world has the right to their own feelings and to be with whoever they want. So once you tell yourself that that person doesn’t own you anything and believe that, the better for you.

The hardest part of unrequited love is the heart break you get from someone who was never yours to begin with. The pain is just as bad as someone who has gotten attached to their boyfriend or girlfriend. Being so much in love with person, being their friend and letting them depend on you for so long does have to leave some sort of pain in its wake right? When you lie there in bed and cry for someone who was never yours to begin with. I can only imagine the torture your mind goes through to erase the person your heart desires. It has to be a constant battle between your heart and mind. When you want to silence the mind but your heart is still clinging on the love that was never yours to begin with.

The nights when random thoughts of them come to mind. When your reading a book and you for a second wish they were with you. When you see an adorable couple walking down the street and you only visualize yourself with the person you secretly love. Must be hard!

How do you get over someone who was never yours? How do you get over feelings for someone who was never there with you? How do you silence the mind as you mend your broken heart? Then you have those random thoughts about them. The memories and fantasies have to be the worst, right? Because how do you shut of your mind? You can meditate or do yoga, listen to some podcast but you and I both know that every now and then you’ll find yourself thinking about them. And it breaks your heart doesn’t it? It’s a type of pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, right?

“It does get better with time”

That has to be the most cliche thing someone is told when they’re going through a hard time. But it does get better with time. It’s a process you can not avoid, you have to get through the pain. And that will be for the next part of the series, getting through the heartbreak of unrequited love.

Keep smiling and don’t let anyone break your good heart to turn you into someone your not! You’re an amazing human being, remember that!

Stay safe stay happy 💋

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14.03

14th February, dia de los enamorados.

The day that people show their utmost love for their partner. Get the all sorts of present, take them to fancy dinners, go for a short vacation! The lady gets to dress up, be all pretty and be showered with love from her man. In many instances it’s the man who has the pressure to make Valentines a special day for his girlfriend. He is not allowed to forget this day and has to have ready a place to take his girlfriend, have gifts ready to give her and show her lots of love.

Ladies, ladies pull up your socks if you haven’t already. Men may act all mucho but deep down they want to be shown love too. When he surprises you with a gift what harm will it do if you as his girlfriend surprise him as well. It’s “lovers day” not “girlfriend day”. Your both in the relationship and the both of you should show each other how much you matter to one another. If your man takes you out for dinner, you can have something planned for afterwards like maybe a movie or something that he really likes.

If your man is into let’s say marvel, I bet it’s will be romantic to have an in door theatre setting for him waiting at home. Since you already had dinner, a bottle of his favorite drink (be it wine, vodka, whiskey, soda, milk or water), a few munchies to bite on and also the gift for him. Giving him a tie or socks or shirts is good but pretty sure he got you something amazing! So does it really hurt to spend a bit of coin on the person you love? (Lord why I’m I still single)…… A gift based on things that he likes, if your man is into accessories then a good watch (not those one for 200 that are sold in town cmon sis) doesn’t necessarily have to be a damn Rolex but there some affordable designers, a leather bracelet or neck thingie. Afterwards you can wear your lingerie and rock his world (pg not for persons under the age of 18).

Assuming I was in a loving relationship with a man who adores me and cares I would definitely spend on him even spoil him. Personally I have nothing against spoiling your man like it’s a two people relationship and you’re happy. Valentines has never been something I believed and I still don’t. It’s just a day that people blow out of proportion. I’m with you most of the time and you have all the time to show me love not just on this particular date.If you haven’t been loving towards someone all along don’t use 14.03 as a means to finally become romantic! If someone makes me happy, if we are growing together, helping each other in this life then I be damned I won’t mind if on this day (14.03) all someone does is “give me a single rose (but if he loves me he’ll know better than to get me a rose and give me a cactus instead), a kiss on my forehead and another promise to be happy together”. Being completely honest, I wouldn’t expect much from “my man” because we are happy on 13.03 and we will still be very much happy and in love on 15.03.

I don’t mind being spoiled but just you know I’ll spoil you too, accept that.

( Yeap still very much single here hahahahahaimsolonely)

I love you bebes and Happy Valentines or whatever.

Stay safe stay happy 💋

UNREQUITED #1

La douleur exquise!

The heart is a very funny part of the human anatomy. It’s work is to pump blood yet it is the one which is referred to when someone is in pain or when someone is in love. Why does the pain of loosing someone felt in the heart? Why do you feel like you heart is literally breaking?

“I’m heart broken!”

“I love you from the bottom of my heart!”

Having feelings for someone has to be one of the most amazing thing and most terrifying thing at the same time. You’re not sure if the feelings will be mutual or whether you’ll end up being kicked to the curb. Allowing yourself to fall for someone to the point where you actually feel like you love them has to be a test of trust. You never know what the other person is feeling. Never knowing what they think or if they’re genuine. It’s all a matter of trusting your heart and just hoping to get your happily ever after.

For most the feelings are usually mutual. Which is absolutely amazing for most people. Having someone you can totally depend on. Someone you can call yours and only yours (but never be too sure with this generation of humans). Having a person to share your happiness with, to achieve your goals with, to grow with. Amazing right?

The dark side of the feelings we get, unrequited. It has to be a painful and hurtful moment to go through. When you fall in love with someone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Once you fall in love with someone, your whole world changes. Your life gets a whole new meaning. Not talking about “liking” someone. Liking someone can be just lust or a passing feeling. You can tell that to everyone and anyone. From friends to family to even enemies. When feelings get deeper, to the point where you can actually say it out loud,

“I love you.”

Not the point where you think about that person all the time but when you think about them at 2pm when you busy. When your listening to music and some song comes along then their face comes to mind. When your hanging out with your friends and having the time of your life, then for a split second you think about them. You smile, maybe even laugh cause even the thought of them makes you happy. That’s just not a feeling that you “like” someone.

When its unrequited, it can crush you to small itsy bits. It will break your heart to the point where you feel physically sick. When you feel so much love for someone. You want to be there for them, care for them, make them happy but the only thing you can do is swallow the that pain in your throat and put a smile on your face. Why is it with unrequited love, someone always chooses to be “just the friend”.

Isn’t that even more pain that you deserve. To watch them fall in love with someone else and make them as happy as you want them to make you. Or is it because, you’d rather be their friend than not be in their life completely? Is it that then being happy might hurt but it’s all you ever want for them? Isn’t that just a sad life?

To know they’ll never look at you the way you look at them. How your heart leaps just at the slightest attention from them. Someone with such love deserves all the happiness in the world.

You deserve it all!

// Letters you’ll never get //

Stay safe stay happy 💋

IT’S BEEN GOOD ✌🏽

Most of you who have my contacts already have some sort of idea what this blog is all about. It’s not an issue when someone just suddenly quits social media. But for someone who really liked social media, was all for the drama, enjoyed sharing their photos then it might be a small issue. Then if that person is coupled with some mental struggles then it can be some sort of red flag, right?

(No red flag here my loves)

Once in a while someone can get fed up with all the drama on social media and decide to take a break. Social media especially Instagram can really take a toll on someone. The whole idea of having a perfect life, luxurious lifestyle can really get to someone’s head. I’m sure most of you have heard of people having a “fake life”. They do all that so that they can have that amazing social media persona. Which is not considered healthy at all. It will reach a point you don’t know where your real life begins and where you social media life begins.

No, I didn’t quit social media because girl was living a double life. What was on my social media is what is in my real life. No luxurious lifestyle, absurd travels, “just a small town girl living in a lonely world”. When I say social media I’m throwing more emphasis on Instagram (Facebook is ancient history in my world, Snapchat has never really been my fort, Twitter is just good for news and information). Instagram is an amazing app, which I have personally used for years. It’s like the core of social media. Almost everyone uses Instagram to share about their life, build their brand, market their products and even conduct business. So yes, Instagram and social media is amazing!

I started blogging mid last year when I needed to put some creativity in words (I have done a blog of why I do what I do not going deep into that). The more I blogged the more it became about building a “brand”, social media became bigger focus on my work and all I thought about was putting my name out there on social media. Have this good Instagram theme to attract more followers, post often, use captivating captions. Which is not wrong, everyone on Instagram is doing it. But when it becomes something which is not bringing you good vibes and interfering with your progress, shouldn’t you cut it off? I have been blogging for a few months now and I absolutely love it. I love sharing my stories which make no sense, I love talking about mental health and I just love writing anything like this platform is my personal journal.

For a while I took a break from social media and minimized using my phone. That was towards the end of last year and it was an eye-opening moment. I still blogged without my social media platform, I still continued working on my website, I still wrote my novel and the only thing which changed is that I was happier. I felt more at peace with myself without checking what’s going on in other people’s lives. I have at several times talked about mental health and gave some inspiration to you guys. So it’s not that much of a hidden thing that I also struggle with mental health and I felt that my journey to get better was even smoother without social media.

I look at the world around me rather that down at my phone. I was someone who was on every social media platform for hours but now I rarely hold my phone unless it’s to blog or read a novel or text my friends. Am I saying social media is down right evil? No. It’s a personal decision to leave the social media platform and get on a new journey. I need social media for blog traffic and of course build my brand but it’s a decision I per-took despite of the challenges it will bring to my work and goals. We shall pull through, won’t we?

I do not know if I will ever switch back and get back to social media. I do not see it happening any time soon. If I ever do then it will be a fresh start, solely for my blog and my work as an attorney hopefully. So yes I took a break from social media to work on myself and I decided to quit social media to focus on myself even more and just enjoy life as it is. Take in the drama around me and just live. No more surviving, it’s time to live! Hopefully in the future to come, I’ll get back on every social media platform I had and join back on the drama but I truly hope not.

And that’s my story, let’s see where this new journey will take me.

Social media it’s been good ✌🏽

Stay safe stay happy 💋

32(2) COK

So I’ve been ticked off by something that’s been going around for a while now. Now I will not get triggered but let’s just have a little discussion here.

We have the right to religion as well right? We’ve been taught that it is a our right to worship whatever we want without being discriminated. Not just in law school but also in primary or secondary. Let me assume we all did SST or GHC and we all had some clue that we have the right to religion. Now that we have the right to religion we can worship where we want and with religion comes it’s own beliefs. I’m I right or I’m so damn right?

With Catholics they believe in the Holy Trinity, Mother Mary, The Sacrament and many other beliefs which they actually do follow and respect. I have no much idea about Protestants and I don’t want mention them but I will believe they also have their beliefs. Now that we are on the same topic, is it right to deny someone of their belief? If I believe that I should pray everyday at four will it suddenly make someone fall down and collapse? No it won’t so why shouldn’t I pray at four? If I believe that the Rosary is a form of prayer should I be condemned for it? Many believes have been accepted and everyone respects them.

A topic on religion is usually sensitive and should be approached carefully. The LML Clique is a space where every opinion is accepted. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion! Now quick question;

“Why should a girl be denied to wear an item of clothing which is part of their religion and belief?”

After knowing everyone has the right to religion can that rule be a denial to their rights? Or is it just a rule that has to be followed so everyone can be uniform? When someone rants about how “why are other girls removing their hijabs and others are still wearing?” Isn’t everyone belief in their religion stronger than others. I am a Catholic but I do not take the sacrament every single Sunday. Well, I don’t go to church every Sunday but I still consider myself a Christian. On the other hand there is someone who goes to church every Sunday and will take the sacrament every Sunday. Isn’t that the same thing? I’m I even making sense? Or I’m talking gibberish?

If a someone can be chased from school because of wearing a hijabs, well those are two rights being denied. I don’t know but that’s how I see it, the right to education and the right to religion. In the faith of Islam, hijabs ain’t an option (I’m assuming). Many rights and freedoms are infringed in private spaces. Giving private schools the authority to make such a disturbing rule is by far a questionable ruling my the justice system!

Denying someone of their own right is injustice. I’m just asking myself what is the harm in wearing a hijab? They are just covering their hair and well part of their face and it’s not for decoration or beauty. It’s a head wrap which is a part of their religion, a religion they have the right to follow and the freedom to believe in. I’m I emphasizing “right” and “freedom” enough. Something which is stipulated clearly in the Constitution not just quoted from the sky.

If it should be part of the uniform, the hijab can be the same color as the uniform? Right? I’m still wrapping my finger around the entire situation and do intend to research more on the topic. Go knee deep into the whole situation and hopefully be back with my final two cents on this. Honestly it’s pretty sad and down right annoying. But what can we do, it’s the supreme law. It’s one am in the morning as I write this (because inspiration comes to me at odd hours), I’m getting back to watch a series, and I still lack words to write.

Stay safe stay happy 💋