BROKE NOT BROKEN #2

You’re stuck in your own world feeling like you will never get better again. Feeling like the whole world is completely against you. You feel like it will never be better again. Those days where you don’t feel like getting out of bed. Your alarm rings and you have shit to do during the day be it going to school or work or to run errands. All you want to do is just stay in bed and close yourself to the world. Your eyes feel heavy, your heart feels like a damn rock, your soul is just tired and there is nothing you want to do!

Yeah there are those bad days and there are those really bad days. On a bad day you will wake up sad but get yourself out of bed, get ready and actually leave the house to do stuff. Even though it’s not your best day, you still have the energy to get out of the house. Then there are those really bad days! The night before you had scheduled stuff to do the next day, set your alarm but when the time to actually wake up reaches you don’t have the strength to get up. The most you do is open one eye to look out the window to check the whether, switch off the alarm, turn to face the wall and sleep again. For a moment you feel a wave of sadness, worthless and loneliness wash over you. At that very moment you forget about everything and just shut down.

It happens to the best of us and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Personally I have skipped many classes just because that morning I woke up and I couldn’t deal with the world. It’s frustrating when all you want to do is get out of bed but your mind holds you a hostage inside of your house. Your mind gets you stuck in your bed with no strength to get yourself to even smile. There will be those voices ringing in the back of your head as you shut your eyes to fall into oblivion.

“Your life isn’t worth it anymore”

“I can’t do this anymore. It’s just too damn hard”

“Why I’m I so damn sad!”

Those voices for sure will never be positive thoughts because your mind is attacking you to make you feel worthless. Again, don’t feel ashamed about it. It happens and it’s okay but don’t stay there too long. Depression happens so whoever tells you it’s “attention” or “you’re too young to be sad” or “there’s nothing like depression just be happy” just sock them in the mouth. Punch them in the stomach m, crush their own existence. If depression was all but a cry for attention then why do people try so hard to hide their pain? Next time you call it a cry for attention ask yourself that question.

When the pain comes, it shall also pass. Do not feel disappointed if you spend a whole day in bed. We all need to whatever it takes to get better and if staying in bed helps you reset then darling stay in that damn bed! However, don’t become a prisoner to your depression. Do not let your mind hold you a hostage and control your life. No matter how hard it is, get yourself to leave that bed. Get ready, do your make up and get pretty (if you’re a girl or a boy who is into make up f*** what anyone else says), dress up and get out of the house. Yes, it will be hard because all you want to do is wallow in pain while getting out of the house will force to smile (even though it’s presence). I do believe being around the people who love you does help a lot!

Or if you do have to stay in the house, you know, there those days that are just awful. Why don’t you call the person you trust most. That person who always makes you laugh and you enjoy their company. Spend the whole day with them. I’m sure you won’t be crying the whole day with them there. And even though you do cry they will be there to hug and comfort you. It’s nice to have someone there with you when depression hits the hardest. They pull even though it’s halfway from the hole of depression. Talking to that one person will lift an entire weight from your chest. You won’t feel 100% okay but you won’t be as bad as you were when you woke up.

I have my own tips of getting out of depression for a day when it’s bad. Some things I’ve been trying for months, I will try and share them with you guys. I always want to spread awareness for mental health and try help someone who is going through mental health problems. We all going through something’s we don’t want to talk about and I hope a blog from someone going through the same might just help you, make you smile or even give you the motivation to get better!

Don’t give up! We still need you right here with us!

Stay safe stay happy 💋

(Photos taken by Elijah Kiko Photography)

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